so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
