Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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