So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
