All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
