Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
