make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
