I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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