I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
