the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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