This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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