Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
