There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
