I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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