Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize