no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize