I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
