How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
