It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
