He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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