it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
