if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
