Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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