he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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