babies were throwing up all over the place
Just cropdusted the office
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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