what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
