ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
