those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
