it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
