After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
