I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize
