Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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