I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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