there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
