I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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