I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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