i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
