No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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