Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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