he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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