Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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