Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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