Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
