I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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