i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So vagazzling was a success
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
