Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
