How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize