Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
