I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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