I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
