my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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