you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
