The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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