There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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