There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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