so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
