Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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