i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
