In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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