My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
