I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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