maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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