You're so nebulous sometimes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
