When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
