She's JV to your varsity
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
